7 months later...

I can hardly believe that it has been 7 months since I experienced a life-changing summer in San Diego. When I say "life-changing" I mean it. God grabbed a hold of my heart and is continuing to do so in ways I cannot adequately explain. This summer effected my eternity. It was the start of being consumed by Jesus and laying my life down to him. Surrendering and putting on the "new self" is something I have to do daily.

Summer project opened my eyes to a lot. When I boarded the plane back to Indiana I had this horrible inclination that how I changed in San Diego was going to stay in the beautiful place of Cali. I am joyful to say that this fear was nowhere near accurate. The same God who transformed my heart this summer still remains as the author and perfecter of my faith. I have been fighting the good fight of faith when the spiritual battles come, and they come.  I'd be lying if I said it's been easy. It has been terribly hard to make all these changes coming back to Ball State, but the "old self" is dead. I am no longer held captive to living a double life. I am able to enjoy a life completely enveloped in Christ.

So, the Lord has been teaching me a lot. I fall in love with Him more and more each day. It's funny because the tough and trying situations have constantly been growing me closer to Him. I do not live  it perfectly but I'm learning to give myself grace as He so freely gives it to me.

Since being back at Ball State I have been able to take steps of sharing my faith on a normal basis, experience solid Christian community, experience God's presence, clearly see His hand at work in the lives of others along with my own. On a weekly basis I get to do Date Night with Jesus with some fun friends to dig into the deeper parts of life. I am blessed with a great discipler who keeps me accountable in my walk with the Lord. I am surrounded by people who are pursuing and loving Jesus (and also pursuing me.) I thank God that I chose to take a leap of faith to trust Him, it has honestly been the best thing I've ever done. Experiencing a satisfying life in Christ Jesus is SO WORTH IT, I don't have to search anymore. :)

"What are your plans for this summer?" is a question that has been frequently asked even if we are just now reaching Winter Break. Here's the thing: I don't know. Options include: another summer project, study abroad in Argentina, or staying at home working. We'll see where the Lord leads me... no matter what, I'm sure it will be another grand adventure!

The First of the "Lasts"

Well hey, it's been awhile. Today is our last Saturday in San Diego -- NOOOOOO, why so soon?! At this time next week I'll be boarding a plane back to humidity infested Indiana. Speaking of infested there has been a lot of that going on around here ... my apartment has bed bugs (yucky!) However, some good has come of that, I get to have nightly slumber parties with my discipler. :)

Tonight we are going to Little Italy which is basically the only main tourist attraction in San Diego that we have not been to. God made this place really beautiful and I'm so glad I get to enjoy that with these great friends. As we were at the Padres game last night and ran into a guy we knew from campus it struck me with this feeling that we have really made this our home. Padres won, by the way!

 God keeps changing me. A big concept for me this summer has to do with relationships. Are my relationships glorifying the Lord? If not, how does that need to be altered? What are my boundaries ... do I have any? Do I have people in my life that point me to Christ? Do I value God's creation (myself & others) enough to strive for these good God focused relationships? What am I afraid of? How do I set the tone for relationships? This is just a brief insight of the processing that's been going on. I'm so thankful for the Holy Spirit's work in my life of breaking down the walls of my heart - God. Is. So. Good.

Two weeks ago was our "Killing the Giants" week where we made God-sized ministry goals for initiated and Gospel conversations. God was really faithful in providing people in our path to have these rich conversations and ultimately relationships with. Our weekly meeting has continued to grow in numbers. This Tuesday we are having a Destino meeting for those who are interested in heading up this movement when we leave back for the mid-west. I have had the pleasure of getting to know a few of the people who want to see Destino be something that lasts when we are gone. God's plan is so much bigger than ours. This makes me really excited to come back in the future to see the ways God is working & He will be working.

Life has been good. Although I am nowhere near 'ready' to go home. I am grateful for the things the Lord has been teaching me. I will be able to go back home & back to BSU with a changed heart and a heightened desire to be more like Jesus. I hope & pray that what I've learned on this trip will stick and continue to be put into practice in my everyday life. (I'd appreciate your prayers in that.)

Here's to a week left in San Diego and to enjoying EVERY moment of it! :)

Half Way?

Today marks the half way point for my summer project in San Diego - really hard to believe! I'm sitting here trying to think all that has happened the past week since I've blogged. God seems to teach me something new everyday which is really cool and consequently really difficult to express in words. But, I'm just going to touch the surface. :)

God is working on SDSU campus and I feel so honored to be apart of that. God is uncontainable! How often I limit what I think God can do through me and through a group of believers. When making goals for what we want to see this summer I find myself trying to not dream too big. Like, do I forget who we're working with here? Ya know... the God of the universe. New revelation: the same Spirit that rose Christ from the dead lives in me. Wow. Every time I say that I feel like I have to take a few moments for that to sink in. We have recently talked about how you would live your life differently if you realized just what power lives within your heart.

Time after time again I have been realizing just how great the power of prayer is. God is for realllll. He is answering our prayers. Some in which we can see and others below the surface - both ways are great. God places particular people in our path for a reason and that has been pretty evident. Also, we are rejected which for me has just helped me learn resilience. It's easy to forget the intensity of the power that lives in you until you see the boldness in action.

Yesterday was a day full of solid spiritual conversations. My sharing partner (Christina) and I went from conversation to conversation most of which we got to share the Gospel. We met a Latina who identified with the Christian faith but confessed she finds great happiness in living in the worldly terms. We had an informative conversation with three girls who practiced Buddhism. We had an open conversation with a lady who practices agnosticism. Lastly, God put us in the path of two Filipino ladies. This was such an awesome conversation where we got to use perspective cards and learn a 'lil about their walk with God as shaky as it may be. At the end they actually asked us what out our perspective was (rarely have had that happen.) They were so inquisitive and had teachable hearts and I loved it. We got to share the ways God worked in our lives and it was just definitely a conversation God laid out for us. Love that Holy Spirit! I can't wait to meet up with them again!

Recently, God's just been teaching me and I feel like preparing me to make some major changes in my life. I'm learning what it looks like in my life to fully submit myself to the Lord. It's going to be a constant struggle to recognize my sin and fully trust that God takes the blame & guilt that goes along with those things. Trusting God to take this head knowledge and bring it to my heart. Honestly, I'm just really over the never-quenching salt water I always turn to in life. These things I find my identity in are worthless and so faulty. God offers living water for me that satisfies all the desire I look to other things for. I get so frustrated when I look at the life the world offers me and the life that God offers me. Living my life with purpose and a passion for Christ is SO much more fulfilling than finding my security in these temporal things of this world. But, why do I hold back?!?! (still figuring it out.)

God has convicted me of these realizations and things I need to give up and it's going to be difficult - really difficult. A part of me is extremely scared because I don't think I will be able to live up to God's expectations or I don't believe I'm strong enough to live out God's plan for me and I sure am not holy enough. My insecurities are made secure in the cross. God looks at me and sees Jesus. Wowzers. That kind of just puts it all in perspective.

For those who have been praying: thank you! God's been answering.

San Diego is beautiful. SDSU students are so receptive! Plus, I get to work alongside of some really awesome people who share the same desire to please the Lord.

¡Hasta luego!
Ashley

San Diego Adventures: God is Present!

San Diego Adventures: God is Present!: Greetings from San Diego (my future home). I mean I'm just going to start out by saying that this post is not going to do my experiences jus...

God is Present!

Greetings from San Diego (my future home). I mean I'm just going to start out by saying that this post is not going to do my experiences justice at all. This past week has been powerful - reallll powerful. I'm genuinely in awe of the presence of God.

Ministry on campus has been going well. One thing I've been learning is how to define success in ministry. For us that means going out in the Spirit initiating conversations and leaving the results up to God. It's easy to define success as the number of people who come to Christ, the number of people coming to our weekly meetings, the number of people who we share the Gospel with, so on so forth. The great thing is God has a plan laid out before us in regard to the Destino movement and we can have full confidence in that. This makes worry and discouragement not a big factor in our ministry.


The week started out slow, but on Tuesday my sharing partner and I had 5 encouraging conversations with Latinas which is not the norm for us on campus. So that was super great to see how God placed us in the path of these woman all in one day, all who seemed to have genuine interest in the Destino movement. God's been really great about leading us to people who maybe need the reminder of the Gospel, or sometimes people who have never heard the Gospel explained to them before. I have heard a lot of great stories from my team members and there's no doubt God's at the center of this movement.

We had our weekly meeting tonight and we actually had a few people show up - not a lot - but a few. :) I got to spend time with a girl named Courtney and a few of us ended up hanging out at her apartment after the meeting. One of the things we've been praying for is not just encountering people on a one time basis but starting relationships that actually mean something, so that was awesome! She wants to hang out with us this Saturday too - God's super cool like that.

I think going on this summer project I didn't really believe that I needed to be changed too drastically. I came with the intent of God using me to share His love and I had very much a servant mentality for this summer. Yeah, apparently I needed more work than I thought. haha. Through my discipleship time God has revealed A LOT of truth to me. (So thankful for Bridget!!!!) I have had quite the identity crisis this week. Who doesn't love a good one of those? But really, it's a good thing. I have placed my identity and security in so many faulty things of this world (a lot of which I had no clue). You see, I have great head knowledge of who I am in Christ. I know what He has done for me. However, knowing is differently from genuinely believing. Apparently,  I blame myself for most things that have happened in my life - yeah, that's not good - just don't do it. Pushing situations under the rug has been my cop-out and I'm paying for it now. This may sound crazy, but I have never allowed myself to see how broken I truly am. It's so humbling and slowly it's starting to make the meaning of the cross much more significant and relevant. Golly, it's difficult. The question of the summer for me is, "Who am I?" I hope that I can soon answer that question in a confident manner of who I am in Christ - and BELIEVE it.

Mucho amor,
Ashley

My Heart is Joyful

My heart is happy to be in San Diego! There are so many things that cause me to say that, but I just know I’m here for a reason, and even when I don’t see that reason ever-so-clearly all the time I am 100% certain God is at work. It’s only been 7 days but it feels like much longer. (I mean that in a really good way.)

I get to live and spend time with the funniest people with the greatest hearts for the Lord. Seriously, I love that aspect of the trip that is a new thing for me within itself and it’s an incredible sense of community to experience. My heart is joyful. (Galatians 5:22)

So far in my handy dandy notebook I have recorded 10 spiritual conversations within the matter of 2 days of ministry on campus which I have personally been involved in. I think an important thing for me to note in this blog is what I’m doing out here as before this past week the purpose was not so specific...

Basically, our goal is to start a Destino movement on San Diego State University campus. Destino is a movement under Campus Crusade for Christ that focuses on the Latino population. This is completely new to the campus so we are the pioneers which is difficult, but so cool! By the end of the summer we hope to see 10-15 student leaders raised up to take control of running Destino. (We appreciate your prayers in this.) This is the result of a vision that happened a few years ago. It’s a privilege to be apart of the plan God has already laid out. Hearing stories about how everything was planned out for the trip and how this team got to the point of being here in San Diego shows completely that God is truly the center of this movement. It has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with Him.

What does our time look like on campus? Basically it involves stalking people and prowling on those who look like they could possibly be Latino. Haha. We start out the conversation by getting to know the person and then enter into a survey about culture and faith and if appropriate we may explore a small pamphlet called, “Knowing God Personally” (KGP) which is how we express the truths of the Gospel. The whole initiating conversations about faith was honestly a scary one for me. I think I’m most afraid of rejection, not knowing the answers, and an awkward situation. Having the Holy Spirit working within and through me is the only way that I have had the conversations that I’ve had. It’s all Him.

Through our few days of ministry on campus I feel like I’ve learned about a lot of different cultures. And also figuring out that I myself have a culture… wait, what?! Yeah, it may sound weird but I never really recognized that being American is a culture… but I have been learning it is. I just feel like being an American has such a diverse meaning with the many traditions since of course we are known as the “melting pot.” This is a new concept for me so I’m attempting to delve in that and learn what that really means. First and foremost, I'm learning what it looks like to define myself in Christ. It's easy to define myself based on the things I've accomplished, my major, my past situations, but above all else I am defined as the daughter of the King. This whole concept is a lot to take in, but it allows me to see myself in a different light.

You see I knew going on this trip would be faith-building but I didn’t really expect how much I’d be learning about myself in that process. Kind of crazy, I have learned these lies I have been convincing myself of for many years and it’s kind of been really overwhelming. An epiphany at it’s finest is the only way I can describe it. God’s plan for this trip is so beyond me that I’m going to quit trying to guess how He is going to work because I cannot fathom nor contain His plans.

This morning my "family group" went to College Avenue Baptist which was a change of pace from what I'm used to. But, I was surprised that I actually really enjoyed the service. The pastor today spoke of how we were made and saved to GLORIFY God. If you ever doubt God's love for you look no further than the cross. God sent his one and only Son to save us not for our own sake but for the purpose of glorifying Him. (Ephesians 1:12) I guess the most convicting thing about the message was what am I truly glorifying in my life? What do I spend most of my time, money, tears, and daydreaming focused on? 

God. Is. So. Good. 

We appreciate your prayers so much! If you want to know more details about any of the above or more please don't hesitate messaging me! 

Mucho amor,

Ashley

First Update

Love & hugs from San Diego! So yeah, you may be wondering how Ashley’s doing in San Diego and probably desiring pictures in hopes that your support wasn’t just a scam. And lucky for you, it wasn’t. I just am a horrible picture taker. J

I arrived in San Diego at 1pm. Cali time on Friday (IN is 3 hours ahead.) It wasn’t until I got to Terminal B of Indianapolis Nat’l Airport that I realized that I’m really doing this. I’m jumping all in and there’s no going back. It’s scary, but, in a good way. Jet lag has been working in my favor as the past few days I have naturally gotten up at 7:30 am to workout, so that’s been goooood!

San Diego is gorgeous. Neither pictures nor I could possibly do it justice. San Diego State University (SDSU) is such a diverse campus. Fun fact: Bring It On was filmed here, that’s just how special it is. I get to live with 4 lovely roommates {Jordan, Megan, Molly, & Lexi} in a 2-bedroom apartment. Half of our lights may not work all the time and there may be razors at the bottom of the swimming pool, but hey that’s okay, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. :) Living in Christian community is not something I have experienced before and it’s so good. We live in the apt we named I.H.O.T. (International House of Tortillas) because indeed tortillas are a popular food choice in our kitchen-  we’re just immersing ourselves in the culture. haha

This is only the 3^rd day here and already so much has happened. Getting to know everybody on this trip has been so encouraging – I get to team up with some really wonderful people all will with the same mission to serve the Lord. We are blessed with the opportunity to partner alongside with Christ to launch this Destino movement for the Latino population. I am with 14 university students and 5 staff members.

Over the past few days we have been getting to know the campus and the students. Today we went out just to start conversations and I was a bit scared about randomly   talking to people, I thought it would be awkward… but it turned into a really positive experience! It’s a process, but I believe God is training to give my fears to Him and lean on His understanding rather than my own. The truth is, me on my own will never be enough. However, Jesus covers makes up for the multitude of my inadequacies. I just don’t want to screw it up, but I know sharing God’s love even if it’s not smooth the first time is not something I will be regretting. I still have lots to learn and I am excited to do so! I’m walking with God one day at a time and not worrying about tomorrow.

{“I may be weak, but Your spirit’s strong in me. My flesh may fail, but my God You never will. Give me faith to trust what You say that Your good & Your love is great. I’m broken inside & I give you my life.”}

Also, we got to experience a church service all in Spanish - it was super cool!! Worshiping God in another language is not something I had experienced before and it was powerful. The pastor was a man who is blind and based on his mannerisms you would have not even known. He was on fire for Jesus and everybody in the congregation were so welcoming – the Latino way of course.

I truly can’t write what I have experienced thus far into words. I just can say that God has been working in big ways and He is going to blow us out of the water this summer. I am humbled to be here and I am so excited!!!! 

An overview of the highlights that I haven’t previously mention include: walking 3 miles for Fro-Yo, public transportation system, watching “Hands on Hardbody” (a REAL documentary made in the 90’s about a car dealership in KY who gave a truck to the person in the contest who could place their hand on the truck for the longest – the record is 100 hours) – entertaining to say the least, brinner, going to the wonderful pool at the Rec Center, & lastly the grocery store called Vons. So yeah, it’s been great. J Our schedule is really packed so I’m not sure the next time I will be able to write a blog entry, but until then…

Ways you can pray:

-       Growing in our faith & trusting in Him fully

-       Hearts of the Latino students on this campus

-       God’s wisdom to be within us

-       Community we will be experiencing

Thanks for your support!! I may just never leave San Diego. It’s perfect. J God’s working in BIG ways.

Mucho amor,

Ashley